Where am I?

What happened to me?  Where am I?  Who is this person currently occupying my body?  I don’t recognize her, her feelings, or her actions.  Where did I go?  Will I come back?  I feel like a void.  I feel like I should feel more, react differently, react at all.  I can see myself changing, becoming this person who currently has my name and my body.  But, I don’t want to be her.  I don’t want to do the things she is doing; snooping, prying, crying, yelling, accusing, suspecting, doubting, looking… I don’t want to feel the things that she is feeling; distrust, anger, panic, fear, insecurity, instability, weakness, shame, embarrassed, unsure, unstable, stupid, empty….

Where am I?  When will I come back?

4 thoughts on “Where am I?

  1. I don’t know all your circumstances, but it sounds like you need to let go of control which is difficult when you recognize things are spinning out of control. Practice being present the moment you have the desire to do something or feel something that you don’t recognize as yourself. Take a moment. Pause. Redirect. Breathe. Give yourself permission to feel.

    Liked by 1 person

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