Thankful for what?

Thanksgiving is a hard time.  It is definitely going to be a day that “triggers” me for a long time.  For a few reasons.  One is that last year, for the first time in probably 10+ years, I cooked our meal at home. In the past, I had been out of town with family while he stayed home and worked.  Well, as I found out later, he actually celebrated thanksgiving with his whore a week before he did with his actual family, while I was out of town for a wedding.  This will forever be a thing that messes with me.  Not only that, but he wrote a little note to her about it, about their celebration and how he “took a big bite” out of her turkey and how he’s so glad they can be silly and be themselves around each other.  Then, after I found out about her and he cut off ties with her, she wrote a note to my mother in law, on mother’s day, saying “I just want you to know that your son stuck his face in my turkey and took a big bite.”

I wonder when I will ever feel normal again.  Or feel whole again.  Or stop feeling so stupid.  I hate that I have to pretend that everything is ok so that everyone around me is comfortable and happy.  Just like I pretended like everything was fine and let him walk all over me while he cheated on me.

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3 thoughts on “Thankful for what?

  1. Honey, I don’t think it is about everyone else’s comfort and happiness anymore. You will never feel whole while you are pretending. Be your own hero. This is your story to write, you are the solution, and you get to choose your own ending. (((Hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The whore does have a vengeful humour… her note to your MIL is proof.

    Yes, this is trigger season for me too. Hang on, because there is no other choice, is there?

    Did you cook this time? Does he remember last year?

    Like

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