I hate the way I fumble for words so often. I want to write.  I want to talk about how I’m feeling, but I sound stupid.  I’ve read back over some of my previous blogs and I want to rewrite them or take them down. I want to write about so many things, but my […]

When will it go away?

Some days I feel so empty. I want to write about how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, and the words are just not there. I want me back.  I want to be able to remember things again.  Words.  When I’m trying to say things, and the words I want to use won’t come to […]

What I want you to know…

I wish that you could understand the pain that I hide.  I wish that you could feel the anguish that I feel in my soul. I look at you every day and I know that you have no idea what I am feeling.  When we talk about this, there is no way that you can […]

What do you represent?

Every day feels just as hard as the day before.  I don’t trust my husband not to get into this situation again.  He doesn’t understand the boundaries I think he needs, he doesn’t think about things the same way I do.  I don’t want to say it’s selfish, but at its core, it really is […]

Is this all a dream?

I know we are all different.  All of our circumstances are different. But, do you ever feel like you MUST be the only person in the world dealing with your exact set of issues? I feel that way.  I know there are, unfortunately, a literal ton of women whose husbands have cheated.  And I am […]

Where am I?

What happened to me?  Where am I?  Who is this person currently occupying my body?  I don’t recognize her, her feelings, or her actions.  Where did I go?  Will I come back?  I feel like a void.  I feel like I should feel more, react differently, react at all.  I can see myself changing, becoming this […]

Adage or cliché?

Every day is a new day.  I guess that is true at just the words.  Today is not yesterday and tomorrow will not be today.  But how new is each new day, really?  How much of today do you carry into tomorrow?  And what did you bring from yesterday into today? I don’t think that […]